Ueettnt the doctor is in

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Sat May 15 10:41:01 CDT 2004

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A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of
the wine, then tossed the remainder into the bartender's face. Before the
bartender could recover from the surprise, the man began weeping. "I'm
sorry," he said. "I'm really sorry. I keep doing that to bartenders. I can't
tell you how embarrassing it is to have a compulsion like this." Far from
being angry, the bartender was sympathetic. Before long, he was suggesting
that the man see an analyst about his problem. "I happen to have the name of
a psychoanalyst," the bartender said. "My brother and my wife have both been
treated by him, and they say he's as good as they get."Six months later, the
man was back. "Did you do what I suggested?" the bartender asked, serving a
glass of white wine."I certainly did," the man said. "I've been seeing the
psychoanalyst twice a week." He took a sip of the wine, then he threw the
remainder into the bartender's face. The flustered bartender wiped his face
with a towel. "The doctor doesn't seem to be doing you any good," he
sputtered. "On the contrary," the man claimed, "he's done me world of good."
"But you threw the wine in my face again!" the bartender exclaimed. "Yes,"
the man replied. "But it doesn't embarrass me anymore."
Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day
their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the
big city to buy some new clothes.The children played for an hour, and then
at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice
cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake
in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it
like a gentleman.""Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do
it?""They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his
aunt at once."Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then
he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half,
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